Bubble of Thoughts
Embracing the Unknown: A journey through self doubt
This blog is a space for inspiration, advice, and real life experiences. While I love to keep things uplifting and positive, I also want to be authentic. That means sharing the messy, uncertain, and sometimes overwhelming parts of life, because that’s where real growth happens.
To be completely honest, I have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t know who I’m going to be, who I want to be, or even where I’m headed. And while that shouldn’t be surprising for an 18 year old, the pressure to have it all figured out feels crushing at times. In today’s world, it seems like you’re expected to have a clear plan from a young age, and if you don’t, people take you less seriously. That insecurity creeps in, making me question my identity, my future, and whether I’m somehow falling behind.
When I was 10, I wanted to be a vet. At 15, a therapist. By 17, a pharmacist. And now? I have no clue. Starting college has only intensified the pressure to decide. It feels like a weight pressing down on me, the constant need to map out my entire future right now. On the surface, my life looks perfect, I have an amazing boyfriend, a cozy apartment, and the sweetest cat. But the most imperfect part of it all is me.
People tell me I don’t need to have it all figured out, while others insist that I should. But the loudest voice of doubt is my own. I’m a planner through and through, but how do you plan for something when you don’t even know what’s coming? I’ve taken countless career quizzes, hoping they’d give me a clear answer, but the results never seem to align with what I truly want. And maybe that’s because I don’t even know what I want.
Before I moved out of my childhood home, I was convinced that success meant making six figures. Now, I just want to wake up excited about my day. But the hard part? I don’t know what that looks like. I’m not drawn to the arts, music, or math. My interests are simple: my cat, organizing, self-care, and writing. None of them seem to connect in a way that points to a clear career path. I was a solid student, making A’s and B’s in high school, but I didn’t do any extracurriculars. So here I am, completely lost at sea.
The dreaded questions never stop: “What field are you going into?” “What’s your five-year plan?” “What do you want to be?” Every time I hear them, my stomach drops, my face flushes, and my mind races for an answer I don’t have. The reactions I get—the concern, the confusion, only make me feel worse.
I’ve always been a worrier, and my mind constantly spins with doubts about the future. The unknown terrifies me because it’s something I can’t control, something I can’t plan for no matter how hard I try. But maybe that’s exactly what 18 is supposed to feel like, messy, uncertain, and full of questions with no immediate answers. Maybe we’re all just figuring it out as we go, going through the chaos until something finally makes sense. And maybe that’s okay.
If you’re reading this, whether you’re 15 or 50, I hope you know that you’re not alone in your confusion. Life is unpredictable, and the questions never really stop. There’s always another choice to make, another path to consider, that makes you second-guess everything. But instead of fearing the unknown, maybe we can learn to embrace it. Maybe the uncertainty isn’t a burden but a sign that we’re growing, evolving, becoming better than we were yesterday.
I won’t pretend I have all the answers, because I don’t. I probably never will. But I do know this: life isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about learning, exploring, making mistakes, and finding joy in the in-between moments. Despite my worries, despite my doubts, at the end of each day, I am grateful. Grateful for the air I breathe, the ground beneath my feet, and the simple, imperfect beauty of life itself. I am learning to trust that, even in the midst of uncertainty, I am exactly where I am meant to be.
So let’s stop taking that for granted. Let’s embrace the confusion, the mess, the not-knowing. Because in the end, that’s what makes life a thing worth living for.
